2 Weeks and Growing

I'm writing this blog while our bean is sleeping, so it may be brief....

I can't believe we've survived the first 2 weeks and 4 days. It blows my mind how fast it's all going! Jackson has been an absolute blessing and is a really good baby. He only cries when he's super duper hungry or wants something to suck on. We weren't going to do a pacifier, but if it calms him down, we'll have to deal with the consequences later! (I also think he might become a thumb sucker b/c he keeps trying to shove his thumb/fingers/hand in his mouth when he's hungry or upset). Last night was a good night (he slept for 2 hours at a time without waking up), but other nights he wakes up every hour. He was requesting food every hour and a half, but now we're trying to keep him just eating every 2 or more hours. Jackson takes about 1 3 hour nap a day and it could be at any time (sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night, and sometimes in the middle of the day). I'm just trying to sleep when he does, but it's not always easy to sleep when it's like 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

As for eating...boy this kid can eat! I think he must already have gained 10 pounds since he was born. We've been doing the whole breastfeeding thing which is good for a few reasons: 1) Jackson likes it, 2) poopy diapers aren't so bad, 3) I've lost a lot of weight, and 4) I get to snuggle with my little man. BUT it's been hard for a few reasons too: 1) ouch in my chestal area, 2) he tends to fall asleep really easily, 3) he has started using my chest as a pacifier (especially when he's super tired), and 4) I feel more like a cow than a mom. We've started introducing him to bottles (just one bottle a formula a day) just to give me some rest b/c breastfeeding is so exhausting for me and plus I can get in a nap while he's taking his bottle. For the first week or so, he was eating every 2 hours and then he went for a few days every hour and half which was horrible during the night. BUT the doctor said we need to try to keep him eating just every 2-3 hours, so we're trying to limit him to just those times, which isn't always easy. I had no idea what to expect about breastfeeding, but it definitely wasn't this! I want to quit just about every time he cries, but once you start...it's hard to stop without feeling like you're harming the baby. I know it's the best thing for him to breastfeed, so I'm going to do it at least for a month, if not a little longer. Hopefully, we can make it another 2 weeks without having to add on too many more bottles of formula!

Jackson's personality is just so sweet. The boy LOVES to cuddle and I just adore him for it. He's also very alert and likes to spend time on our laps just looking around trying to figure things out. I swear he's going to be a smart one! The bean is also very strong. He lifts his head up a lot and for a long period of time for only being 18 days old. It's funny to watch him try to head butt us :0) I also should've known the boy was going to be a total wiggle wart. When he is awake his arms and legs are going about 100 miles a minute. I just know that he's going to be an Olympic swimmer or football player. He's also got quite a set of lungs on him and talks all the time. His squeaks are the highlight of my day and I just love the noises he makes! The only thing I'm still trying to get a hold of are his explosive diapers. OH LORD! the boy can poop. He sometimes wakes himself up with the gas he has! I swear one of these days he's going to blow a hole in his diaper! It is amazing his poops! I'm also trying to get used to being peed on or pooped on. I could've sworn I would never get hit...boy was I wrong! Within a few hours of being home, he had both pooped at me and peed on me. The first time he peed on his head, I balled like a baby. It was so sad seeing this little stream of pee hit him straight in between his eyes...it was horrible! BUT I learned quickly that that will not be the only time he will pee on his head :0)
His personality has earned him the following nicknames: Pterodactyl man, Frog man, cuddle buddy, poopie tail, wiggle wart, etc. etc. I have about hundred names I call him b/c he's just so sweet.

Anyway, as for my mothering skills...that's still up in the air. I feel about hundred times a day that I suck as a mom and that I'll never get a handle on what I'm doing. I worry that I'm not doing things "right" and I know I should realize that there is no right or wrong way to do things, but I just worry... If you measure a good mother by how happy the baby is, then I think Jackson is one happy little guy! He hasn't smiled at me yet, but he smiles in his sleep and that let's me know that he's at least happy in his dreams :0) I just hope that I'm giving him everything he needs and more! If how tired and exhausted my body is is any indication of how hard I'm working as a mom, then I'm working pretty darn hard!

Well, I should get going for now...I'll have to post pictures later. I haven't taken very many new ones, so I'll have to work on that for ya!

A Baby Story

This May has probably been the best month ever in my life! First, our beautiful son Jackson was born on May 11th. Then, Justin and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary on May 17th. How lucky! Here's our baby story:

Monday morning I woke up to go to work and finish just a few things. Got to work feeling pretty tired and overly pregnant, but I did what I needed to do and left. Then I went to Kohl's to pick up a Mother's Day present on the south side of Tulsa. I started to feel kinda weird there, so I paid for my things and decided I was probably just hungry. I decided to drive across the road to Wendy's and get some lunch, but I felt the sudden urge to go to the bathroom, so instead of going through the drive through, I got out of my car and headed for the door. As soon as my hand hit the handle to Wendy's, I felt a gush of water down there. I said to myself, "OH CRAP! I just peed my pants!" so I waddled quickly into the bathroom and did my business, noticing that there was more going on than usual. I didn't think my water broke at that point, so I cleaned myself up (luckily I wore a feminine protection product that day!) and got back in my car and went through the drive through, ordered my meal and was on my 1 1/2 hour trip back to Stillwater. About 1/2 into my trip, I noticed I was still kinda leaking, so I got on the phone and called a few people and asked them what it was like when their water broke b/c at that point I was pretty sure my water broke. I called the hospital and they said to come in immediately b/c they were also pretty sure my water broke. By the time I got to the hospital around 1:15p.m. I was a little nervous b/c I couldn't get a hold of Justin and I was super MAD! I thought for sure he had gone to the gym and left his phone in his car, so he wouldn't be there when the baby was born. I was SUPER MAD! Well, anyway as soon as I step out of my car, a huge GUSH of water came leaping down my legs. My thought: "OH GROSS! OH GROSS! Please just let me get upstaid without anyone seeing me!" b/c I literally looked like I had peed my pants. I waddled upstairs to labor and delivery and as soon as the nurse saw me she said, "Yep! Your water just broke!" Cue the panic and embarassment for having it happen at Wendy's. Anyway, they got me cleaned up and into a hospital bed and discovered that I hadn't dialated at all! So began our waiting game...hours passed....and nothing! Luckily, Justin had checked his phone at the gym and was heading our way b/c I was very scared there by the myself . In the meantime, I called my parents and told them to get on the road...the baby was on the way. Shortly after Justin arrived, the nurse started the pictocin and HELLO CONTRACTIONS! Can I just say....OUCH to those! The contractions were steady and painful, but I still wasn't dialating. I was glad that doctor consented to giving me the epidural early b/c me likey not feeling my legs while contractions are going on. At around 9:30pm at night, the nurse rushed in to check the fetal heart monitor. She said the baby was getting stressed and his heartrate was dropping and my contractions were getting weird. So, she took me off the pictocin and my contractions went back to normal, but I still wasn't dialating...FRUSTRATION! The doctor came in around 10:30 pm and said we could either go back on the pictocin and risk the baby getting stressed or we could go ahead with the c-section. Justin and I decided to go ahead with the c-section. They got me drugged up some more and ready to go. Basically, they got me in and Jackson out within 20 minutes. The c-section was successful and Jackson was perfect. I on the other hand was sick as a dog....all I kept thinking was geez o' peets, I'm still getting sick! Regardless though, I was so happy to hear him cry that I cried and couldn't wait to cuddle him. Justin was just over the moon in love too! We were lucky that everything came out so well!

4 days later, I was released with our new family from the hospital. Things were pretty easy with the help of my parents and the fact that Jackson doesn't really cry unless he's got an upset tummy, is hungry, or is about to blow a hole in his diaper with poopie. He's a really good baby...very happy and very healthy. Since leaving the hospital, he's gained all his weight back plus some. He's now 7lbs. and 10 ounces. He's also grown and is now stretching out a little bit more than 20 inches long. Jackson is just amazing and I feel so very blessed. It hasn't been easy b/c he doesn't really let us sleep at night and seems to always fill up a brand new diaper as soon as it's put on. We've also been breastfeeding and oh my goodness, it's a lot of work! I want to quit about every time Jackson wakes up and is hungry. It's also been hard b/c Justin started his internship this past Monday and hasn't been here all week. Thank goodness for my parents for helping out and keeping me from crying 24 hours a day! I'm so sad they have to leave on Monday. I'll be by myself for about a day and half before Justin's parents get here next week. I thank God everyday for my family and their support.

So that's our baby story! Sorry about the long blog, but I thought ya'll would get a kick out of my water breaking at a Wendy's. Here's some pictures to enjoy as well:

Announcing the Arrival of Jackson Felix Gerber

I'm typing with only one hand as I hold my son, so this will be brief. Just wanted to give you some details. Jackson Felix Gerber was born by c-section on May 11h at 11:08 p.m. He weighed in at 7 lbs. 5.6 ounces and is 19 1/2 inches. He has strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes and he is super handsome. Here are some highlights from our exciting day:


His very first visitors: April, Ben, Grandma and Grandpa Kirk


Stay posted for the details on delivery and the growth of our little guy. Can't wait to share every minute with ya'll :0)

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mommies, future mommies, and almost there mommies like me....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I know it's still early, but Justin and I kinda celebrated Mother's Day yesterday and I had a wonderful semi-1st-official Mother's Day :0) He took me out to dinner at a great Mexican restaurant and then to a movie down in Bricktown in Oklahoma City. We love Bricktown, so we had a really great night. It was good for me to walk around...even though I have to waddle super slow b/c I'm having a hard time getting around. Justin gave me a really great Mother's Day present...tickets to see Dane Cook! I LOVE Dane Cook, so I'm super excited he agreed to tak me. Every moment I get to spend with Justin, I fall more and more in love with him. We're both so excited about the future, especially because the bean will be here very very soon!

In fact, he'll be here either Wednesday or Thursday. At our last appointment, the doctor told us he was going to induce on Wednesday night. He's a little worried about how big I am and how swollen I am (MY FINGERS HURT SO BAD!). I think he can also tell that both Justin and I are just done being pregnant. I'm exhausted all the time and it reads all over my face! I'm glad that I only have about 2 or 3 hours of work on Monday and then I'm off until early August...YAY! After Monday, it'll just be a waiting game until the little man is here. My parents are coming down Wednesday and I'm so glad that they'll be there for little Jackson's arrival and they'll get to stay for more than a night and they haven't gotten to do that since we moved here :0) We just can't wait!

We also can't wait for our 1st anniversary. One more week until we've been married for a whole year. It has been the best year of my life. I'll have to post pictures from our wedding day next weekend (if I have time....we'll have a little tyke by then!). I think the next year will be even better :0)

I'll end this blog..my final as an almost mommy...with my last pregnancy pics. Here I am at a few days shy of 40 weeks and baby Jackson being here:

With 10ish days left...

In the last 38 1/2 weeks, my life has dramatically changed! There have been huge highs and lows and as we start to round the corner to our little bean being here, I'd like to take some time to reflect and do some top 5's because those are always fun!

Top 5 Things I will Miss About Being Pregnant (in no particular order):
1 - Being able to eat when I want and what I want without feeling too guilty. I'm not gonna lie...I have loved being able to eat a cheeseburger a day without too much guilt! I realize that I will pay for this later, but I don't care b/c if our little man wants a cheeseburger a day when he's in my belly, then that's what he's going to get. This will not be the case when he' not in my belly anymore of course, but we've definitely enjoyed our food in the last 9 months.
2 - Watching my belly and my baby grow! This has been truly magical watching my shape change. It's kinda funny to look back at the pictures that I've taken and watch me go from some sort of shape to blob like to pillsbury dough boy shape!
3 - Being able to wear pregnancy pants. Pregnancy pants are by far the most awesome, comfortable pants I've ever worn in my life. I could seriously wear my jeans and capris everyday for the rest of my life and be completely happy. Sooooo comfy!
4 - Being able to nap, relax, take baths, and be generally spoiled by my husband everyday without too much guilt. I love my weekend naps and nightly baths. I love the fact that Justin has taken such good care of me in the last 9 months. He's rubbed every achy part of my body without too much complaining :0) He's drawn me baths, made sure I've eaten properly, and been to all but one doctor's appointment to watch our son grow. He's helped keep me calm, held me when I've cried uncontrollably, and made me feel beautiful when I felt like a total whale just minutes or hours prior.
5 - Feeling Jackson kick, punch, abuse my insides, wiggle, and squirm in my belly. There is nothing in the world like feeling a baby move within you. Everytime I watch his alien behavior in there, I light up and glow with so much love. I worry when he's quiet for a long time or if he hasn't punched me in the bladder in a few hours. With every wiggle and squirming movement, I fall deeper in love with my son. I wouldn't take back any moment that he's done the monkey bars with my ribs, grabbed onto my spine like a fireman's pole, or played my kidneys like they were maracas. It's been pretty awesome to see and feel him in there just enjoying life to its fullest. Jackson truly is a miracle.

Top 5 Things I Will NOT Miss About Being Pregnant (in no particular order):
1 - Having to pee about 20-30 times a day. I know and realize my bladder will never be the same again, but I look forward to cutting that 20-30 times a day in half. I can't wait to be able to drive my hour drive to work without having to pull over and pray there is a bathroom nearby. Getting up 5-10 times a night will hopefully be a thing of the past.
2 - Having trouble walking, bending, and standing up without much pain. I can't wait to be able to bend over to pick something up without wanting to cry. Hopefully, the only time I will waddle after Jackson gets here is when I'm running to lose all this weight I've packed on.
3 - The fear that everything I eat will end up in the garbage or the toliet. Let's be honest here: The first 7 months kinda sucked b/c I was nauseous and sick all the time. For the first 4 months, I kept nothing down and that's no fun. I look forward to being able to eat again without the fear that it'll come back up.
4 - Having hot dogs for fingers and mini-sausages for toes. I can't wait to wear my wedding rings again and all of my regular shoes again. My feet and hands hurt and I can't wait until they go back to cute and tiny size :0)
5 - Uncomfortable sleep - It hasn't been fun not being able to sleep the way I normall sleep. I'm looking forward to tossing and turning less and to being able to sleep on my stomach again. I know I will probably not be sleeping much, but I look forward to sleeping a little better.

So there it is...some final top 5's. We hope the bean will get here on time and not too late. I'm not sure I can do this much longer. I just keep praying I can make it through my last 5 days of work this week. After that, I'll be able to relax a little more about things, especially about work. Until then, I will look forward to the little man being here and to my 1 year anniversary with my wonderful husband. 10ish more days until the due date....14 more days until our 1 year anniversary! May is a great month!