Nothing was good on tv, so I....

was watching the Tyra Banks show the other night. She had a 15 year-old girl, whose accent could only make her out to be from somewhere in Canada or near Canada. Anyway, this young lady was engaged and trying to get pregnant...trying so hard to get pregnant that she was actually taking drugs to help her have a child. I was so shocked! I wanted to reach through the tv and slap this little girl...thank God Tyra was doing some shaking on this youngin'. I'm not sure what was more disturbing...the fact that she was actively trying to have a baby or the fact that her mother was letting this girl's fiance live in her house and sleep in the same bed. The mom knew they were having sex, but didn't realize how often or that the girl was not on any birth control. This fact led me to wanna smack the mom. WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS! I couldn't imagine being 15 and a mom...I was so selfish then and so consumed with wanting to just make it through high school, so I could high tail it on out of my hometown. My life would've been dramatically different had I had a child then. This girl said she lost her virginity at 13...I wasn't shocked, but I did think sex really has become no big deal. There is no fear in our teenagers to make them want to prevent pregnancy or STD's or AIDS, etc. At that age, I was terrified to have children or contract a STD. I'm now 27, pregnant, and still a little worried about having a baby. I have no idea whether I'm really ready or not, but I do know that at 15 I was neither ready to be a wife nor a mother. I know I'm going to pray like crazy for this one that she'll get her head out of her gluttimus maximus and realize that at 15, she should worry about finishing school and finding herself.

On the brighter side, I had my first emotional breakdown today. I started bawling b/c Justin was being mean about going to the pumpkin patch with me. He kept complaining about wasting our money and about the time it took to get there, so finally I just started crying as I explained to him that it was a tradition with my mom and I to go to the patch every year. The pumpkin patch is special to me and I miss getting to do it at home. I've been trying not to cry too much b/c it makes me feel more nauseous and silly, but I probably cried today for a good 10 minutes. He really can be a butt when he wants to be....thankfully, it's rare that he is. I love Halloween, but I think I'm too tired to really care yet about it. I can't believe it's already going to be here on Friday.

I also can't believe I'm almost through my first trimester. Luckily, I'm finally starting to feel better. I'm still nauseous all the time, but not as powerfully if that makes sense. Well, I'm off to eat something as per usual. After eating, I've got to start clearing out the baby's room b/c my husband is crazy and wants the room to be cleared out already! 6 more months to go baby....take it easy!

11 weeks and growing

So, here I am...11 weeks preggers. I feel ginormous, but I know I'm not. I think I've only gained 2-3 pounds so far, which isn't bad. It's funny though that I have to wear pregnancy pants b/c nothing else fits! I can't wait until my bump gets bigger.

Now, here's one of our ultrasound pictures. The Bean is 3 cm long and that's pretty big. He's only supposed to be between 2 and 2.5 cm, which is about the size of a sugar packet. He sure does look bigger than a sugar packet though!

Raging Hormones and Other Risks You Take Around a Pregnant Woman

Being pregnant has brought out the crazy person in me. I have so many ups and downs...it's insane! I don't want to be around anyone for fear of me unleashing the beast within. I miss being fun and funny. Now I literally have to keep my mouth in check and I have to make sure that nothing truly hateful comes flying out. It's kind funny in way that I just speak my mind now and don't care what people think b/c I have an excuse for any bad behavior. It's funny b/c I used to spend entirely way too much time thinking and caring about what other people think. So maybe in a way being pregnant might not be all that bad :o)

On another note...
Justin and I get to meet the baby tomorrow. It's our first ultrasound appointment and we're extremely excited. Our bean will hopefully have his fingers and toes and eyes and nose and mouth and a strong heartbeat like his daddy! *Notice how I said his....Justin keeps thinking/wishing/hoping it's a boy. As for me, I just want a healthy baby who's happy and not a nightmare child like the one above :o) Well, thanks for taking this journey with me and the bean!

Gerber Baby on the way

So...around a month ago, Justin and I found out we were having a first baby. Cue the flood of emotion from happy to total fear! All of which were overwhelming, but regardless of the surprise in the situation, we both had our own sense of excitement moreso than fear. It's been a rough and rocky road since then....full of roaster coaster butterfly movement from our little bean.

Before I even got pregnant, I knew I was going to be sick. I had prayed that it wouldn't happen, but I knew it would. Geez, my mom survived 9 months of sickness...and now I just pray that this constant nausea will go away (the sooner the better). My plethora of visits to the restroom have been lots of fun (can you feel the sarcasm!). For the most part, I was unable to function in my daily life b/c the sickness had taken over. After weeks of missing work and missing actually living, I couldn't take it anymore...and neither could Justin b/c eventhough he loves running to get me food, he loves me healthy more. So, we called our doctor and begged him to give me something. The first thing didn't work...the 2nd did...THANK GOD! It's been a wonder pill and I'm finally resembling myself again...YAY!

So, here we are...10 weeks into our journey. Still afraid, but more happy than anything else. Justin has been WONDERFUL and I couldn't ask for a better husband or best friend. This whole thing has made me realize how much I love him and how much he truly loves me. It's a beautiful thing and now we look forward to being the absolute parents we can be. I feel so blessed that I'm not doing this alone and that I have the perfect partner in crime :0) Thank you Justin for being the love of my life and the absolute most amazing dad-to-be there could ever be.

Stay tuned for our first ultrasound picture...we see doctor on Thursday! Pray for 2 arms and 2 legs and an alien like appearance :)