Jackson's 1st Christmas Pics

Christmas Eve with Great Grandma and Grandpa Kirk:

1st Visit with Santa:

Pictures from Christmas in Stillwater:

Christmas Day in Illinois with my parents:

Happy Holidays from Chicago

Hi everyone!

Long time no blog...

I can't believe it's been a month since I got on here and talked about our little man! So much has happened this past month, I just have so much to talk about. December has brought us many blessings...mostly in the form of Christmas and family time. For the last few months, I've been pretty anxious about things....work, Justin finding a job, etc. etc. But the last 2 weeks, I've been able to relax and enjoy Christmas. I was afraid for awhile I would never get in the Christmas spirit, mostly b/c Justin was kind of a Scrooge the first 2 weeks of December, but when finals were over so was his bad attitude! It's been a much better end to the month though...here's why:

We opened presents on December 16th. I was home sick that day as I had been in the ER just the day before with severe dehydration from food poisoning. Jackson was just absolutely fantastic at opening presents....it was as if he'd opened hundreds of presents before! All I had to do was open a little tear for him and he handled the rest. I have to admit he was more impressed with the boxes of things and the wrapping paper on them, but once we made those things disappear, he was excited to get some new toys. We kinda took it easy on presents this year b/c we'll be moving in 6-ish months and we didn't want any more things to have to pack and we know Grandpa and Grandma Kirk would get him a lot too! He got some chewable blocks, a set of sound making balls, a baseball kit, a dog that makes noise and sings the ABCs, and a set of stacking cups. He really enjoyed the baseball kit and the stacking cups b/c he likes to make noise by hitting stuff with other stuff. He also loved the Christmas tree. In fact, we spend about a half an hour every night before we left for Chicago reading a few books in front of it. I'm seriously considering leaving up a little tree in his room all year b/c he gets so excited to see the lights. Too much fun!

School ended quickly and we left on the 18th to head home to Chicago...packed with tons of toys and clothes. The plane ride was actually pretty smooth...minus a few hours of delay and the lovely amount of doodle Jackson decided to start and finish on the plane before we could lift off. I'm not sure why he decides to have an exploding diapers now when we travel...let's just say it's not fun to change a poopy diaper in a small, enclosed space with NO changing table. I had to get creative and I was not a happy camper, but we made it through! Got to Chicago and found snow...yay! The next day Jackson got to flirt with some new people at my grandparents' 50th anniversary party. He was just an absolute angel! So sweet and so loving to everyone...I was so proud. On Sunday, we did an annual trip over to my aunt Jana's house to bake Christmas cookies. Now that I'm old enough ;0) I was able to be the designated froster. We had fun and I was glad to get to hang out with my cousins. Monday was the day we had our annual OHS Christmas party. I was so looking forward to hanging out with my friends and my husband with our son, but Justin couldn't go b/c our downstairs toliet exploded all over his suitcase and he had no clothes :0( Jackson of course wasn't the angel boy he usually is either. It just wasn't as much fun as it had been the in the past b/c I couldn't really talk to my friends, but I was glad to see my peeps!
The next day Justin and I headed to downtown Chicago to indulge him in his Christmas present. We ate at one of his favorite restaurants, Monk's Pub, rented a hotel room, and went to the Chicago Blackhawks game. It was a lot of fun! It was the first night we've ever spent away from Jackson and I only called 2 times :0) We had fun being young and enjoying each other's company. The game could've gone better, but our seats were awesome (thanks Dad for finding the tix!). It was a great night and we hope to be able to get out a lot more together as Jackson gets older. On Wednesday, my friend Tai from high school come over and took some family pictures. It was great catching up and I can't wait to see the pictures.
Now for the Christmas festivites...On Christmas Eve, we usually go over to my Grandma and Grandpa Kirk's but they weren't feeling good enough to cook this year, so they came over to our house. We ate Christmas dinner and then opened presents. Jackson was spoiled once again and I thought my Grandma did a great job at getting us gifts this year. Jackson really loves this orange turtle she got him. It was a really nice night with our family! The next morning, Jackson slept in until almost 9am, which was so nice! My parents went all out this year. We were shocked by their generosity. Jackson of course made out like a bandit! He ended up with a wagon full of loot and I've been loving everyday as he plays with his new toys. We are definitely going to have to send a package back to the house though b/c we don't have enough room in our suitcases! Jackson had the best day and wore the best, biggest smile the whole day. He really enjoyed hanging out with Mamaw and Papaw Kirk and the rest of the family at my aunt Jana's house. This Christmas was awesome!

So far, this trip home has been a great one. I've really enjoyed spending time with my family and my parents. We got snow and it's been beautiful, but not a blizzard like down in Oklahoma...I feel so bad for how bad ya'll got it down there! We didn't get to make to Cincinnati like we'd planned, but that's okay. The weather just wasn't going to let us cooperate! Now, with just a few days left of our trip, I'm going to spend as much time with my family as I can. I don't think I'll be ready to leave when it's time and I know for sure I won't be ready to go back to work! Thinking the last few days will be full of more shopping with my mom, catching some dinner with my daddy, a movie with my hubby, a few more visits with friends, and possibly a visit to the Shedd Aquarium. Happy Holidays everyone!

PS - We still haven't heard anything on the job front. It's getting to be quite frustrating, but we're still hopeful to know something in January. We'll let you know as soon as we know. Please continue to pray for us :0) Thank you!

Turkey Day and Family Time

Gobble Gobble everyone! Hope everyone had an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving....I sure did! We've been very busy with the grandparents visiting Jackson and I haven't had time to blog. Last weekend, Grandma and Grandpa Kirk came for a visit. They were here for just the weekend and it just flew by. We tried to take Jackson to see Santa at mall near OKC, but the Santa was just absolutely terrible. I've never met or seen a Santa that was so totally not into making a kid smile or talk. He just mumbled at Jackson. Didn't try to hold him or make him smile. It was so disappointing. I'm hoping that a Santa will come visit Stillwater, so we don't have to drive as far this time. Hopefully, his 2nd meeting will go better than his 1st! Other than that, we just enjoyed the time we had with my parents. They got to watch the little man as I went to work on Friday and then we just played and laughed the rest of the weekend. Justin had a 2nd job interview in Amarillo, Texas so he wasn't there Thursday and didn't get home until late on Friday, but we had a great time.

My parents left on Sunday and then Justin's parents came on Monday. Shoo one out and welcome another in :0) The Gerbers got to watch the little man for me on Tuesday when I went to work. He's been wonderful all week and just a bundle of smiles since they got here. We had a very quiet and low-key Thanksgiving....barely any leftovers with a small turkey! We got to play board games and they also watched Jackson while Justin and I got to go on a date for the 1st time since late July...it was so nice to get out of the house without a diaper bag and a plethora of other baby items, but we missed the little guy! On Friday, we got to visit Jackson's Auntie April and Uncle Ben at their restaurant in Guthrie. Granny Had One is just DELICIOUS! Check it out Oklahomans! Saturday was a little scary because Jackson had a slight fever. He wasn't really fussy or anything...just really warm. I think he was just having an overly bad teething day b/c he wanted to chew and eat just about everything that day! We took him to Urgent Care though b/c I'm paranoid and overly worried momma. The doctor said he had the start of a viral infection and that we should give him some Motrin. Well, he woke up this morning and was fever free and was all day. Didn't have to give him Motrin at all, so whatever has started has hopefully just been nipped in the bud! He's been so sweet and quiet today, just studying everything and laughing up a storm. We put up the Christmas tree today and he enjoyed eating some of the ornaments (the soft fluffy kind..no worries) as he watched me. He loved looking at the lights, so it was awesome! He just played on the floor for about an hour as I hung the ornaments...he's such a sweetie! Other than that, we've had a pretty easy going Thanksgiving break. Speaking of Thanksgiving, here's just a few things I'm thankful for this year:

1 - Probably more than anything, I'm thankful for my healthy, happy baby boy! Jackson is just as sweet as could be and happier than any baby I've ever met. I've been so blessed to have him in my life and I'm so glad that eventhough he wasn't planned, he's been the absolute best gift this year has given me.

2 - I'm very thankful for my Justin, too! He's a wonderful husband and the very best father a man could be. We've been through a lot since Jackson was born, but we're working hard to become a stronger better parents/married couple.

3 - Our amazing family is something else I'm grateful for. Both sides have been so supportive of our journey together as a couple from start til now. They've also been so great to talk to and get advice from over the last year and I'm so glad they've been there for us through it all!

4 - A great job has been a blessing for me as well.

5 - Last, but certainly not least...a great support system of the coolest, awesomest friends a girl could every ask for. I'm so incredibly lucky to have people to rely on for support and who will make me laugh when I need it. I'm glad to have people who can offer a different perspective on things when I need it! Thankful for all of you out there who've loved me through all my crazy pregnancy hormones and through my first year as a momma!

So....other than that, just bracing myself for a very busy December. Can't believe Christmas is less than a month a way...so much shopping to do still! We're also hoping to have Justin come home in the next few weeks with a couple of job offers to hash out! He's had about 6 interviews and 3 2nd interviews, so we're hoping to know where we're going after he graduates here in the next few weeks. Pray for us...we've got big decisions to make!

Here's a few pics to show our little man @ 6 months:

6 Months Old and a Nasty Cold

Yesterday, Jackson turned 6 months old. Instead of celebrating his birth, I was at the doctor's office. Yep, Jackson has his 1st official ear infection and 1st official "nasty cold" according to the pediatrician. Instead of the happy, smiley, giggly little man I know and love, he was replaced with a tired, irritable, and whiney little guy :0( It was horrible seeing my son so miserable and scary too! All I wanted to do for the last 2 days was cry b/c I couldn't just fix it. I've felt like a horrible mom b/c I wondered what I did or didn't do that made him so sick. Should I have stayed home more last week instead of making excuses to get out of the house? Should I have fed him more or less? Should I have held him more or less? Should I have picked him up more or less? But when I wanted to cry, I reminded myself I needed to be strong b/c the more upset I was, the worse off he would be :0( So I tried to keep his fever down as best I could before I could get him to the doctor. I was hoping he wasn't sick, but last Friday he developed a runny nose and a cough. I chalked it up to allergies b/c he has them pretty bad, but Monday he came home with a pretty high fever and I just knew that something was wrong. So yesterday on his 6 month old birthday, we went to the doctor's office and I was just worried sick it was the swine flu. Luckily, it wasn't...just an ear infection and a nasty cold. He was so lethargic and whiney yesterday....didn't want to play or eat or do anything...he slept most of the day and I was terrified that he wouldn't sleep at all last night, but he did. He slept like a rock in fact and he slept until 8:30am and he could've slept longer if I hadn't woken him up! Thank God for small prayers :0) So today he's feeling a lot better. He's still coughing and has a little bit of a runny nose, but he's been hopping and playing and as smiley as he ever was. His fever has also broken, so I think we'll be going back to school tomorrow! I'm so glad it wasn't worse...

Now, I just need to get me well and all will be back to normal again! Jackson coughing in my face for almost a week has gotten me all sick and yucky :0( Oh well...can't last long! I'll post some new pictures of the cuteness soon...gotta take our 6 month pics!

Happy Halloween

Jackson is snug as a bug in his bed, but he wanted me to tell everyone Happy Halloween. He said it wasn't his favorite Halloween b/c we didn't get to really trick-or-treat, but that he liked getting to dress up and hopes that next year will be better! Here's our little tiger:



So...our 1st Halloween was kinda lame this year. First of all, Stillwater moved trick-or-treating to a Thursday night and I of course had to work late that night, so by the time we got home that night, it was bedtime. We did make our way over to Megan and George's, but that was it. I had really hoped we'd be able to make the rounds in the neighborhood, but there weren't many lights on anyway. Hopefully, next year will be much better! This past Tuesday I had taken him to downtown Stillwater in his costume for their Halloween thingy, but it was a little crazy down there. Too many people and rude kids running around and bumping into poor Jackson. He almost got knocked over by some kid who looked at me after he did it like I ran into him. I almost told him to go find his parents b/c I wanted to talk to them. Kids are so RUDE these days...no manners...no common courtesy. Gosh, I hope I teach Jackson a huge amount of manners b/c I can't stand rude children! It just amazes me how incosiderate children are these days! Ok...getting off my soapbox :0)

We did do something really cool last weekend. Justin and I took the bean to the Oklahoma City Zoo. It was a gorgeous day and I wanted to go walk around. Not the best zoo I've been to, but not the worst either! It was pretty funny to watch our little man look more at the people that were around him than the animals in front of him. He did like the bats and the orangutans. One orangutan came right up and sat in front of us on the glass. Then he turned around and put his hands out on the glass and Jackson put his hands on the glass next to the orangutans hands. It was awesome! I had fun b/c I love going to the zoo :0) Here are some pics of Jackson's first zoo trip:


I'll end this round of blogging with a quick blurb about my little man and his new foods. Jackson did so well with rice cereal we decided to try some other solid foods, so last weekend we tried rice cereal with applesauce and he did really well with that. His face though was priceless the first time he tried it though. It looked a little something like this:

Then, on Wednesday he tried some sweet potatoes and he just scoops up whatever he can get of those. He really likes them A LOT! He actually gets excited when he sees the baby food jar. I'll post pictures of this adventure on the next blog.

October was pretty awesome, but I think November will be better. We'll get 2 sets of visitors: Justin's parents and mine. It'll be good to have family around us for awhile! We're also hoping to learn a little more about where we might be going after our Oklahoma adventure is over. Justin has had 6 interviews so far and he has a 2nd interview scheduled next week. There for jobs all over the place. Please pray for us...especially for him! I just really want more than anything for him to find a job that he'll really like in a place that we can stand being in. The sooner we know where we're going...the better! Thanks for the love and support everyone. We'll keep you posted...

October Fun

Hi everyone! Long time no blog...

So the Gerbers have had a VERY busy October so far. The month started off for me extremely busy with work. We had book fair for the first 2 weeks of school and I was actually pretty surprised at how well we did. If we would've had 3 more days like we normally would, we would've blown our last year's fall book fair profits out of the water! I'm kinda proud of myself and all the hard work that went in to the whole shabang.

After book fair was over, it was time to head out to Cincinnati with Jackson to go to Erica and Kenny's wedding. First of all, let me say CONGRATS Knasels! Secondly, that had to have been one of the top 3 most fun weddings ever (sorry...mine is #1). I was so incredibly happy to see my friends and get to spend time with my parents, too! It's getting so hard to be away from them and not get to visit them when I want. Going back to Cincinnati made me miss living near my friends and family (not that we haven't made friends here too), but my family can't just hop in a car for the weekend and get to spend it with us. Anyway, it was an absolutely awesome weekend...totally didn't want to leave! I'm so happy for my Erica and it's so evident by watching her and her husband together that they belong together! It was just so fun and absolutely beautiful! Here's a few pictures from that event:




By the way, Jackson was just absolutely wonderful on the airplane....MINUS THE EXPLODING DIAPER ON THE WAY HOME. Talk about panic...less than 5 minutes after leaving the Dallas airport and getting into the air, KABOOM! Jackson lets the diaper to end all diaper explosions out! Luckily, they had a changing table in the bathroom on the plane or it would've been a miserable flight. After that, he was as happy and pleasant as could be. Gone are the days of the quiet flight :0)

October is so much fun! We also got to go in early October to the local pumpkin patch. I'm absolutely positive that Jackson's favorite color is orange b/c everytime he sees that color, he just gets absolutely grinny and wobbly. I wish I could capture his expression on our camera b/c it's absolutely adorable. He loved the pumpkin patch and all the big pumpkins. He was excited to touch them and sit by them. It was adorable! I'm glad Justin decided we could go as a family...definitely starting a family tradition. Here's some pics from that:



I just can't wait for Halloween! I won't tell you what Jackson is going to be...you'll just have to wait for the pictures :0) I can only tell you that his costume looks absolutely fantastically adorable on my little man!

As for development, he's 5 months old now! Growing like a weed. He can sit up on his own, roll over both ways, and is just working so hard to crawl it's not even funny! He gets his arms moving and his legs moving, but he can't figure out how to get his tummy off the ground! I think it'll be within the next month though... Jackson is also eating like a young piglet. He eats cereal about 2 times a day and we're going to start him on some veggie food here this weekend. I can't believe we're already to that point...it makes me just want to cry thinking about how far we've and he's come! Did I mention he's teething? OMG...how funny it is! Some days are better than others, but most days are really not that bad. He's kinda funny b/c he'll like talk to whatever he's trying to chew on...again gotta catch it on camera! I think I can actually feel the tooth coming in. He's just so independent now...it's amazing. It all goes by way too fast! Here's what he looks like now:

Special Present for My Dad

This was the birthday present I made for my dad...I LOVE IT and wanted to share it with all my loyal readers! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do :0)

http://voicethread.com/share/609161/

Hoping to post some new pics sometime this week...got some cute ones!

15 lbs. 10 ounces and 25 inches = 4 months

WOW! The last few weeks have been a little cuckoo bananas. Jackson is now 4 1/2 months old and becoming quite the little personality. Sometimes I just have to sit back and think to myself how completely lucky I am to have such an amazing kidlet! He's just so funny and he just amazes me because he can do all these different things now. I feel sometimes like he's developmentally blowing the norm away. So let's talk stats:

First of all, he's about 15 lbs. 10 ounces and is now 25 inches long. That's in the 50th percentile and I'm just glad he's not considered short. It seems so weird to be worried about him being short at 4 months, but I know what it's like to be short and I don't want that for my son. He got his 4 month shots on Monday and did surprisingly well. He whimpered about 5 whimpers and then Justin picked him up and he was all smiles again. The doctor said that he looks perfect and that she's impressed by his strength. In fact, he almost broke the popsicle stick thing she stuck in his mouth trying to get him to open up :0) It was pretty funny. Jackson is sitting up pretty well on his own. He can go for about 10 seconds and then falls forward, but when sitting on our legs, he can sit very well. He's also pulling himself up from a sitting to standing position when he holds my fingers. It's pretty amazing to see. He still hates tummy time, but he's holding his head up so well that I think he's tolerating it better. He's moving his arms and legs more, which causes him to push himself forward a little bit. I swear that he almost crawled today, but not quite. He's getting there...when he's ready, he'll be ready.

As for eating, he's taking a bottle every 4 to 5 hours at about 7 ounces. Sometimes he finishes the 7, sometimes he doesn't. We tried cereal for the 1st time today and the doctor told me to give it to him in a spoon, but I can't tell how well he did. Most of it ended up on his face...a little down his bib. The funny thing was he kept trying to chew on the spoon, but I think he liked it. We didn't get to get much down there b/c he started crying too much b/c he was so hungry. So we put the rest of the cereal in his bottle and he ate it that way. That bottle took about an hour to get down, but whatever...at least he tried it for the 1st time. We have some video that I want to put on here, but we'll see if I ever find time to do that.

As for sleeping, he's still sleeping through the night. I thought he might've been teething b/c he was super fussy one weekend, but I think now he just had a screwed up schedule last week. I feel so bad we have to wake him up in the morning to feed him before work, but he still sleeps well enough for us that it only hurts for a little while.

He's not teething yet the doctor says, but I feel like it's on its way b/c Jackson is a true drooling machine. The funny thing about him is that he woke up about a week ago and just decided that he would no longer take a binkie. I've tried and tried to get him to take it so he'll nap and he refuses! I guess a baby will let you know for sure when they're ready to quit something :0) I just hope he doesn't decide to stop sleeping in the car or stop sleeping in his stroller...OUCH! Whatever the case, the Gerbers are not looking forward to teething AT ALL! But bring it...I wanna see some teethers.

Hopefully, I'll be able to post some pictures tomorrow! We have a crazy couple of week coming up...at least for me, which means Jackson's schedule will be off and he'll be super crabtastic. I've got a fundraiser next week, book fair the next 2 weeks after that, and then we'll be heading to Ohio for Erica's wedding. Super excited about that, but I will need some prayers that Jackson will cooperate on the flights b/c he sure didn't on his last few flights! Can't wait to see my parents and Dorothy and Erica :0) Then before we know it, it'll be Intersession (easy few weeks of "work") and then Halloween. Halloween will be fantastic this year. I'm hoping to find a pumpkin patch somewhere nearby...and get some great pics! Anyway, hope all is well with you reader and write to ya later!

One year ago today....

September 11th means a lot of things for a lot of people. It's a date that no one will ever forget. My reason for never forgetting this date is for a little bit of a different reason. One year ago today, I found out I was pregnant. My life changed in a matter of seconds on a Sept. 11th. I remember waking up that morning and feeling weird...not like myself, but I went about my day, did my business, and returned home from work feeling even less like myself than that morning. I remember thinking on a whim that I couldn't possibly be pregnant, but I should take a test just to be sure. I also remember sitting on the turlet (as my grandpa calls it) and watching the pee stick go from no lines to two lines in about 1 minute and thinking to myself, "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THERE IS NO FREAKIN' WAY I'M HAVING A BABY!" My emotions ran the gambit in that moment...from terrified to sadness to excitement to utter joy! I also remember thinking it's kinda weird that on September 11th of all days, I find out I'll be having a baby. My first reactions were to cry hysterically...then I felt the urgance to get to Walmart as soon as possible and buy another test to check. I remember about an hour after the 1st test, I got in the car with my friend Lori and showed her the test and said, "I can't be pregnant can I?" She took to Walmart where I bought my 2nd test and took it right there in the Walmart bathroom where of course it gave all signs for positive! After that test, I tried to figure out a way to tell Justin and I remember being so afraid of how mad he would inevitably be at me. I was terrified, but I bought him a bib that said Daddy's Favorite or something like that and as soon as I got home from Walmart, I started crying hysterically...again...and then I told him. He held me while I apologized about 100 times over and he just told me that everything was going to be alright.

Justin was right. Actually, he was more than right. Never in a million years could I have imagined that I would have a beautiful baby boy that I would love more than anything in the world and that I would love being a mommy as much as I do. One year later, I hold my now 4 month old son and I wonder how I ever lived without him. Thank you Justin for giving me the best, most surprising gift I've ever been given! I love you more everyday baby. It's days like today where I can't help but be extremely grateful for God's big surprises! I have to remember that sometimes he has a different bigger plan than I have for myself and I'm so glad for that :0)

Jackson turned 4 months old today! Happy birthday canoodle bug! Momma and daddy love you big guy. Stay tuned in a few weeks for his new details (height, weight, development, etc.). I'll post pictures tomorrow.

A BIG Thank You to a Very Important Person

Today I have to get a little sentimental b/c August 28th is a very important day in my life. I will never forget August 28th b/c 14 years ago, I almost took my own life. If you know me at all, I have made it no secret that I've struggled with severe depression for my entire adolescence and most of my adult life up til now. Depression is a horrible disease...one I have fought long and hard to keep under control. Some days are better than others, but for the most part, I like to refer to myself as "clean and sober" for the last 5 years :0) 14 years ago was a different story. I was in a very bad place in my life and had experienced probably the worst pain I had felt in my life with the loss of the person I considered to be my very best friend in the world. Losing her at that time felt like losing a sister and I will never forget how much it hurt to hear her say she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Looking back now, I think who could blame her? I wouldn't want to have been my friend either back then. As I said before, I was NOT a good person and I was in a very dark place at the time. I pushed her away...in fact, I tried to push everyone away, including someone who ended up saving my life on that August 28th. That day, after a particularly hard day at school and with that overwhelming pain from the loss of my friend and sinking deeper and deeper into my depression, I decided to end it and be done with it all. I came home from school, took a bottle of tylenol, and then waited....

As I was waiting, I decided to make one final phone call. I don't know why I decided to call anyone, but I'd like to think that God intervened and decided he wasn't quite ready for me yet, so he decided to make me call for help instead. Well, I called my friend Becky to say goodbye and b/c I called her, I'm still here today. She saved my life and I will never be able to fully repay her or properly thank her for that. B/c she got me help, I was able to seek the treatment I needed and while it has been a long road full of ups and downs, I finally feel like I have my life back...it's not being controlled by the depression anymore and for her I'm forever grateful. After my attempt, I was ashamed at what I had done and partially embarrassed. I couldn't let myself get close to her even if she wanted to be close to me and a lot of that has to do with that loss of friendship I experienced prior to my attempt. I spent the next 4 years of my life (high school) not knowing how to thank her or let her in, so our friendship faded. Though I lost the closeness I once had with her, I have NEVER forgotten her...her spirit, her kindness, her faith, not the unbelievable gift she gave me on August 28th.

I full heartedly give her most of the credit for my unbelievably wonderful life that I have today. If she hadn't saved my life, I wouldn't have met the two loves of my life: my amazing husband and my absolutely beautiful son. I wouldn't have a job that I love almost more than anything in the world nor a nice house, car, etc. I wouldn't have happiness in my life and a light in my eyes I never thought possible. Above anything else, I don't think I would be the person I am today. I'm still a work in progress and I know that I have a high probability for relapse, but I also know who I want to be and how far I don't want to fall ever again! But I also know (not trying to blow my own horn here, but...) that I'm a good person with a good heart underneath it all and I feel like I have a lot to offer this crazy world we live in!

I've never gotten to thank you Becky, but I really need to. I think of you often and eventhough, we'll probably never be as close as we were back in the day, I consider you one of the best people I will ever know. I'm so incredibly grateful that God brought you into my life, not only b/c you saved my life, but also b/c of what a truly amazing person you are. I have a truly blessed life and I'm so in debted to you for helping me get there. I don't think you will ever fully understand how much you mean to me or the impact you've had on me. I'm a firm believer that God places people in your life at times when you truly need them...some will be there forever...others will stay for awhile and then move on. Whether you consider me this way or not, I will always keep you in my heart...no matter how far away we are or how little we talk. Thank you for what you did back then and for inspiring me to this day to be better everyday. Thank you for being you! Today, August 28th, I celebrate my life and more than anything I celebrate you!

Our Big Growing Boy

It amazes me to think that a little over a year ago Jackson was just a mini-dot in my belly. Now that he's here and growing and developing his own little personality, I just can't imagine my life without him. He's grown so much in the last month it's amazing. His 0-3 month clothes are now a little too small, so he's upped a size. He's also had to start wearing #2 diapers, but they're a little big (He has a little itsy bitsy heiney!). Jackson is getting those chunky baby legs with cute rolls! It seems to me he's getting longer too! I don't think I'll be able to wait until his 4 month appointment to find out what his new measurements are. His hair is slowly, but surely starting to finally grow in and it's RED! I think he will definitely be a strawberry blonde headed boy. I'm also glad that he has more hair on the top of his head now, instead of just a friar's patch of hair in the back. He still has bright blue eyes and I hope they never change. As for everything else, he's just perfect!

As for his personality, he still hates to be on his stomache. He'll cry and throw a fit, but it's good for him (eventhough it breaks momma's heart). He rolls over more frequently now, but it's only when he chooses...he's a little picky about that! Jackson is constantly grabbing things...including things he shouldn't (i.e. Justin's chest hairs) and brings them with ease now to his mouth. Yep, he's definitely going through his oral stage, where he brings everything to his mouth! He chews on his hands the most and it's amazing to me that he can get his little mouth around his entire fist. It's adorable! He also likes to chew on his lion toy. He's getting so strong and holding his toys much better and for longer now. His new chewing obsession has lent to a very large amount of drool. We have to keep a bib on him at all times b/c he'll soak his clothes! We're not looking forward to teething, but I think we'll make it through when the time comes. Jackson still loves to stand up, dance, and he's added sitting in his Bumbo chair to his favorite places to sit. He's pretty much outgrown his papasan chair and sits in his Bumbo chair instead. He also tried out his jumparoo for the 1st time today and he loved it...except, he's not quite big enough for it yet! His feet don't quite touch the ground just yet, but he loved looking at all the toys and wiggling in it. I think the jumparoo is going to be a very good toy for him. He's also smiling a ton now! He even giggled at me once and it was adorable...I keep trying to get him to do it again, but he just won't do it!

As for sleeping, he's sleeping about 10 hours every night and he's starting to take longer naps in between feedings. Still not the greatest napper, but he'll get there eventually! I'm just glad he's sleeping at night. He's going to bed now anywhere between 8-9:30pm. He's eating about 6 ounces at every feeding and going about 3 1/2 to 4 hours depending on how good his nap is. I would've thought he'd be going between 4 to 5 hours now, but that has yet to happen. He's one hungry boy! Can't complain though...at least he's eating!

Other than that, I just hate to say that I have to leave him at daycare. It's getting easier, but I just feel like I'm missing things that I don't want to miss! There are also days that I feel like he likes Miss Liz in the daycare more than he likes me. It makes so sad to leave him, but I just have to keep telling myself that we don't have a choice! It breaks my heart...we'll get through it though and I have feeling this year is just going to fly by. Before we know it, Justin will be graduating, Jackson will be 1 years old, and we'll be leaving Oklahoma for a new adventure. Stay posted to see what happens in the next few months...it'll be interesting for sure!

Anyway, so here's some pictures of the little man: