10 Truths about Pregnancy

Here's a list of 10 things I've learned so far about pregnancy...some sad, some gross, and some really funny...ENJOY! (PS - These are not in any particular order)

WARNING: Some of the following may be gross, so please read at your own discretion :o)

10 - Let's talk eating...YES A PREGNANT WOMAN IS HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. Do NOT try to steal even a mini-bite of her food b/c if you do, you will risk losing a finger, arm, or any other dangly body part within reach. Do NOT try to argue with her over whether or not she should actually be eating that non-healthy food...just give her the DANG food. Oh yeah, and if she says she looks fat, just say, "Oh honey...you are the most beautiful woman in the world." That is the only statement that makes her feel better...trust me!
9 - Cravings...yes they happen. It is okay to indulge in them within reason. Even if they're strange or weird or something you would not normally eat, go for it! Apparently, the baby you are growing WANTS that ice cream with pickles or grilled cheese with popcorn in the middle. I know strange, but follow the old Nike saying and just do it. Oh yeah and cravings happen at all times of the day. For example, I woke up this morning and started immediately wanting a grilled cheese sandwich (which by the way is one of the only things that I can keep down on a consistent basis). No grilled cheese is not a breakfast food, but yes a pregnant woman needs her grilled cheese for breakfast :0)
8 - Morning sickness does not exist...at least not for me. It should be called "all day nauseous/pukey feeling." That's a better more technical term I feel. Getting sick A LOT is miserable and it makes you question whether having the baby is really a good idea or not. The last 2 days for me were horrible and I could've sworn that the feeling I got when I first found I was pregnant was coming back. I couldn't do a whole lot of moving b/c every time I got up, I got sick. It was gross and disgusting and not much fun at all. You are LUCKY if you didn't get pukey sick all the time, but that doesn't mean you have to rub it in. I'm happy that you had the perfect pregnancy and your labor was wonderful, but please don't remind me of what I could've had. I would love a pat on the back and for you to say, "Hang in there...it'll be over with soon!" I hate to say it, but with my crazy hormones, I would probably punch you in the face if you just so happened to mention the fact that your pregnancy was like a magical fairytale land.
7 - #8 leads me to the wonders of medication...ZOFRAN IS THE BOMB! At first, I tried to tough it off, but I couldn't function AT ALL. They gave me this medication I could rub on my wrists, which works for most women, but of course not me. So, then I had to call, beg, and plead for mercy from my doctor to give me something stronger. Thank God for the miracle drug Zofran. It is fantastical and while it doesn't take away the constant nauseous feeling, it does cure my pukey problem. I can function b/c of this little friend. It's expensive and I'm hoping I won't have to take it much longer, but well let's just pray for that!
6 - Exhaustion...being pregnant gives new meaning to exhaustion. When I do go to sleep, it's great b/c I feel like I'm in a coma and the only thing that could wake me is someone beating me with a baseball bat. Oh yeah and don't take away my naps PLEASE! They are a necessary evil. I can't help it if I need at least 1 a day right around 2 or 3pm. I'm going to take full advantage while I can b/c in about 6 months sleep will be a thing of the past!
5 - TLC's Baby Story is the DEVIL. Everytime I watch that show, I get a new fear concerning birth and delivery. I have to stop watching this show, but it's like seeing something extremely unusual for the first time....you want to look away, but you just can't. I will turn the channel and then keep coming back to it b/c I can't turn away. It's horrible b/c watching someone give birth gives me the heeby jeebies like no other. I guess I don't know why they can't just knock me out and do a c-section when it's time. I realize it's just not that easy, but I sure wish it could be. On the other hand, Bringing Home Baby is probably my new favorite show to watch during the day...much easier on this worry-warts heart!
4 - A free boob job really is a perk of getting preggers. I will keep this brief, but I can't believe the exponential growth in the last 13 weeks in that area. It's amazing!
3 - Being pregnant is really freakin' expensive. Ok people...this is just the precursor to actually having to buy food, diapers, etc. but I can't believe how much money I've spent already. The cost of my wonder pill alone could put me in the poor house! And let's face it, I haven't even begun to spend money yet....just wait my friends until I start going crazy on clothes, toys, books, and baby room stuff. Justin will probably have a heart attack when we start adding everything together. Oy!
2 - Pregnant women do NOT walk...we waddle. At least I do....already! It's funny to watch. I thought it was pretty funny to watch me run, but just watching me walk is enough to make me giggle nowadays. Oh yeah and forget about hurrying...you get pregnant and your need to get somewhere on time disappears. I can't do anything fast anymore and I'm ok with that. It's helped me to slow down and think about something other than putting my job first. I'm glad for that!
1 - Puking in front of a police officer while pregnant DOES get you out of a ticket. A few weeks ago, I got pulled over on my way to work. I was completely guilty and speeding by 4 mphs, which seemed silly to pull me over for in the first place, but I digress. I felt sick on the way to work, but I wanted to wait to stop. When the cop pulled me over, I couldn't hold it in anymore. As soon as I gave him my license and insurance, I had to ask him to step back from my car door. He asked why and I said, "If you don't move officer, I'm going to get sick on your shoes." and then I pushed him out of the way with my door and got sick on the side of the highway (nothing new there). When I was finished, he said, "Well, you're either really drunk or really pregnant." I just said really pregnant and then he let me off the hook. Phew! Another trouble diverted by getting sick in the morning :0)

Being pregnant certainly does have its ups and downs. There are times when I don't think I can do this, but then I look at my belly and I can see the baby's heart beating through my belly and it's amazing! That makes it all worth while...I just need to be reminded of that every once again due to the extreme hormone rages and fits of sadness. Hope you enjoyed my lastest rumblings....stay tuned for the baby's sex in a few weeks!